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SelfCareathon #2 – Obstacles

Happy Friday. I’ve got WiFi and I couldn’t be more excited to finally be back to my blog. With a bit of a delay I’m going to carry on with where I left off, and for anyone who can’t remember that’s with The Blurt Foundation’s Self Carethon.

The focus from The Blurt Foundation for today’s post is about overcoming obstacles. I’ll be the first to admit that to this point I’ve had a very easy life; apart from the hurdles that most of us find ourselves jumping over at some point during our life, I’ve been enormously lucky. However, I’m very aware that this isn’t the case for most people, so I’m going to interpret this prompt a little differently. I’m going to use it as an opportunity to practice what The Blurt Foundation preach and connect with those who have struggled or are currently struggling. Here are 3 incredible humans, who have been met with some really challenging times at various points in their life, to tell their stories. I should also add that they’re all amazingly talented bloggers that you really need to know about, so I’ll link them all below for you (that’s right, I’ve got your back).

Shirley Cuypers

I’ve been struggling with depression for such a long time, that it’s an everyday struggle to be happy, positive and/or motivated. I struggle with getting out of bed, being motivated for college and staying positive about my relationship with my boyfriend and friends.

Not everyone knows how hard it is to be happy, positive and/or motivated when you’re having depression. Most people think that it’s not that hard to be happy, but for those who struggle with depression it is hard.

But how do I stay happy, positive and/or motivated? I try to think about all the things I have accomplished in my life: being a college student, working at my student job even though I can get nervous and anxious, having the best boyfriend ever and amazing friends, … I try to think about all the things that make me happy and those things help me to stay positive and motivated. There are still days that I don’t want to get out of bed, but you cannot just beat depression that easy. Those days are hard, but that doesn’t mean I give up. I will never give up!

Rebecca Jayne

I think anyone, no matter what background, no matter where they’ve been, no matter where they’re going, has faced obstacles in life. It’s the parts of life that no one expects but I honestly believe they shape you and help you learn and grow as a person, well that’s my experience.

When I’ve faced any obstacles I’ve always been drawn back to the same quote ‘When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say why me, say try me’. This isn’t to say I’m indestructible (because I’m not), I’m drawn to this quote because of probably the biggest obstacle my family faced, this isn’t actually about me; it’s about my mum.

My mum was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. She is the cause of why that quote resides with me so much, my mum is the happiest person you will ever meet in your life (promise). She never questioned WHY something happens she just does whatever she needs to do. That’s extremely admirable in my opinion.  The thing I hear my mum say most is ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it’. And she’s true, time spent worrying is 100% harmful and 0% helpful.

I think when dealing with any obstacle in life you need to have an optimistic outlook, yes, I know they’re called obstacles because they aren’t easy… You’re 10000% entitled to be annoyed, upset, frustrated but you’re also 10000% capable of DEALING with an obstacle, REMOVING an obstacle.

That’s how I deal with obstacles, I will myself to get through it, whether that be an exam, whether that be a break up, whether that be spending an afternoon ringing round to sort out a phone line (guys moving is stressful).

I could sit here and write word after word on each obstacle I’ve ever faced and how I deal with it. But honestly, you’d get bored, firstly, and secondly, they would all have the same tone.

My advice to you:

  1. Take time to process, scream, cry, get a massage. WHATEVER. Mentally deal with it.
  2. Seek out those around you: friends, family, pets, significant others.
  3. Get an action plan, get a backup, get 12, idc, as many as you need because HONESTLY, you’re strong enough and there will be a resolution to things in life, and if there isn’t you have to come to terms with that, take it on board and those around you will help you.

I’m not a professional in any sense of the word, I can’t tell you what to do, I can tell you what I’ve done and hope it helps. I can tell you there is thousands of resources to help you, such as posts like this (Shout out for bloggers such as Jaime who are creating content to HELP people). There’s nothing wrong with asking for help there’s also nothing wrong with knowing that you’re a bad-ass and are a force to be reckoned with! If you ever need any reminders of how strong you are click here.

RJ xo

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Reb Henshaw

In 2015 I lost my best-friend. She had Epilepsy. She had a seizure in the bathtub and tragically drowned. She was 17. She had fair blonde hair. Beautiful big blue eyes. A smile that always light up any room she walked into. She was the definition of sunshine. She also had her flaws. She was naive. She was thoughtless sometimes. She wasn’t all too reliable. She would take days to reply to your messages.

When she died, she was in every known newspaper to man. However I don’t think one journalist got the their facts right. On top of all of that. There was a desperate struggle on social media, people claiming & trying to prove that they were her best friend. Apparently grieving wasn’t enough, people wanted drama. They did not once think about her mum or true friends & family. No, instead they set fire to things on her grave & said hurtful things on social media.

My best-friend was a human. She had a life. She was alive. Her heart beat. She breathed. She loved percy pigs. She loved Chunky Kit Kats. She loved McFly and Busted. She wanted to be a singer or an actress. She loved music. She lived in a burgundy hoodie and black leggings, which would usually have a hole in them. She felt embarrassed about her condition. She didn’t like her eyes. She said she looked like a fish. (She most certainly did not). She needed someone to hold her hand whilst crossing the road, just in case she had an absence. She loved cheesy chips. She had an obsession with Elijah Wood. She had insecurities. The medication she took tasted like vanilla. She would say hello to anyone who would walk passed her. Make friends wherever she went. She claimed to be a vegetarian, even though she ate bacon. Her favourite outfit was her dungaree dress. She had the largest perfume collection known to man. She wanted to go abroad to work for charities. She was an awesome human being.

I don’t have a conclusion or anything to round up with. I’m just releasing things from my heart & mind. I’m just sharing my story & how I hope to overcome my problems. I will always miss my kooky friend & will have good and bad days, but her death is no longer such a huge cloud over my head, I feel a sense of relief now. I’m ready for my life to start again.

To read Reb’s story in more depth, head over to her blog.

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